Unlearning Everything We Thought About Success

📝 This Week's Depth

The other day, I found myself reflecting on the idea of success. It’s something we’re all striving toward in one way or another — whether it’s in health, relationships, career, or personal growth.

The word itself is so commonly used that we rarely stop to question it. What do we really mean when we call someone "successful"? What makes them so? We throw the term around as if it carries a single, universal definition. But does it?

The truth is, success is deeply personal, and its meaning can vary widely from one person to the next. Yet, the moment we hear the word, it’s easy to fall into a trap of comparison.

We are tempted to compare our own progress against someone else’s version of success: climbing the corporate ladder, owning a house with ceilings as tall as a Sequoia tree, or conforming to the relationship timeline society prescribes.

Our collective understanding of success is based on these markers when they are not representative of what matters most to many people.

And thing is, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with those markers. They’re valid aspirations, and for some, they may embody true success.

But the real question is: are they what you truly want? Have you paused to ask yourself if these goals align with your values, passions, and dreams, or if you’re chasing them because they’ve been held up as symbols of success by others?

Imagine stopping strangers on the street and asking them to share their dreams. Their answers would likely surprise you.

Some might talk about having the freedom to travel whenever they want. Others might say it’s about having time to paint, write, or pursue a specific passion. For some, it might be creating something small yet meaningful, rather than something large and impressive. Success is as unique as the person defining it.

In fact, some of the most "successful" people you’ll ever meet aren’t the ones gracing magazine covers or winning awards.

They’re the ones who’ve learned to live life on their own terms. They’ve had the courage to define success for themselves regardless of how society defines it. And yes, that courage will inevitably raise eyebrows or spark concern from 'well-meaning' friends and family.

This brings us to an important point: just as we set goals for our careers or health, we should take the time to define what success means to us.

If you’ve read Simon Sinek’s Find Your Why, you’ll know how powerful this kind of introspection can be. It forces us to examine why we do what we do, clarifying the motives and values that drive us.

When we take the time to articulate our own definition of success, we create our own personal map; a map that guides us without being swayed by external expectations or comparisons.

So, what does success look like for you? Be honest.

Maybe it’s building a million-dollar business. Maybe it’s as simple as finding work you enjoy and having a cozy home filled with love and pets. Maybe it’s traveling as much as possible, exploring new cultures, and collecting experiences instead of things. Maybe it’s going to therapy, healing generational patterns, and creating inner peace.

It might look like dedicating time to your passions, like painting, surfing, or running. It could mean building meaningful relationships, volunteering for a cause close to your heart, or even just having the freedom to structure your day as you choose.

Success never has a limit, nor does it need to "look" a certain way. It isn’t always about external achievements — it can be entirely internal.

It can be about learning to love yourself, overcoming fears, or finding joy in the little things. The key is to dig deep and discover what truly connects with you.

Once you define success on your terms, everything starts to change. You gain so much clarity about what genuinely fulfills you.

As you redefine success for yourself, remember that it isn't about lowering your standards but about setting standards that actually matter to you.

Take a moment to define what success means to you — and then own it!

💭 Thought Ripples

• Your definition of success can always change and is allowed to evolve as you do

• The greatest success might be finding the courage to disappoint the right people

🤔 The Inner Question

If no one could judge, criticize, or praise your choices, what would success look like for you?

🌟 Growth Notes

📖 Success Audit Exercise

Think about your current "success markers." Which ones are truly yours, and which ones did you inherit from others?

🎯 Value Alignment Check

List your top 5 values. Do your current goals align with these values, or are they driven by someone else's vision?