Why Your Past Resolutions Didn't Stick (And What to Do Different)

📝 This Week's Depth

It's already the beginning of a new year. The time of year when we promise ourselves we'll make everything better (that is, if we actually follow through with them). We set big goals, write down our plans with excitement, and believe we will succeed.

Then life happens. By March (sometimes earlier), we're back to our old routines, feeling a bit guilty about those unfulfilled resolutions.

It's the same reason gyms are crowded on January 1st, but gradually lose visitors as time goes on.

Even though it's fun to set goals for yourself, it's not so fun when you lose sight of them so easily. Before you know it, you're back at square one.

Truth is, we don't understand what our resolutions actually entail. I think we easily blame a lack of willpower or laziness on ourselves. Though I acknowledge these factors, do you ever consider the possibility that you are juggling too many things at once?

On any given day, you're probably managing:

• Work demands that keep changing

• Relationships that need attention

• Health stuff that pops up unexpectedly

• Personal goals you're trying to reach

• And about a million other things

Then we try to add these massive life changes on top of all that? No wonder they don't stick. I think this is what we get wrong about resolutions:

1. We try to change everything all at once

2. We set goals that might work in a perfect world (but when has it ever been a "perfect" week for you?)

3. We forget that life is unpredictable and full of surprises

4. We believe big changes only happen through big actions

We should always take time to reframe what we're thinking and saying about ourselves instead of falling into the trap of self-loathing and asking ourselves why we can't achieve our goals.

There's nothing wrong with being lazy if it's genuinely the case. It's an honest statement, but let me bring in one of my favorite quotes to provide a different perspective.

Goals are great, but systems will get you where you want to go.

There is one key point to remember here: everyone's systems are different! A system that may work for one person may not be right for you, and that's exactly where we go wrong.

Setting a resolution to eat healthier is great, but how are you going to make it happen? Do you have a plan on how you will get there? Do you have any experiences that haven't worked for you?

The following is only one example and one step, but let me narrow it down even further. When life already presents a long list of to-dos and hardships, what can you do to make your system work for you?

Remember, we don't want to be juggling too much. It'll only lead to failed resolutions and you will find it difficult to let go of burnout once it has taken hold of you.

So what actually works?

Start smaller than you think you need to. Way smaller. 

If you want to start working out, don't commit to an hour at the gym every day. Start with just one push-up. If that sounds absolutely ridiculous, that's the point! Make it so easy you can't say no.

Another important tip is to focus on one thing at a time. Just one. Not five areas of your life you want to radically change. One small change that feels manageable for you.

Lastly, build flexibility into your plans. Despite our best efforts, life will always throw us curveballs. When you have a strict plan, you set yourself up for frustration and you fall back into believing you are the problem, when in reality you are not.

Drastic changes don't actually last. Making meaningful progress doesn't require a complete redesign of your life.

Every tiny adjustment and every small choice you make slowly adds up to something bigger. That should be the starting point.

What’s one small thing you could start with?

💭 Thought Ripples

• Small changes can fit into your life even when things get messy

• The best changes happen so gradually we barely notice them

• Make it work for your real life, not your ideal life

🤔 The Inner Question

What if instead of trying to change everything about your life, you just focused on making today a little better than yesterday?

🌟 Growth Notes

📖 Practice: The Tiny Shifts

Identify one small change that feels almost too easy to fail. Start there.

💡 Perspective Shift

Instead of asking "What should I change about myself?" try asking "What small adjustment would make today feel a little better?"

Until next week!